Ode to a creep

"His mama's blind to his every fault,

He thinks he's a comedian but he's not!

I wish he'd leave me the hell alone,

But his mama's convinced I'm made of gold.

He's a metal-head and a music-freak,

But he has no spine and acts all meek;

He wants a strong woman who knows her mind--

He thinks I'm the one--can't he read my signs?"

This was jotted down after, well, after a date with a creepy guy! I've reproduced it just as I wrote it as it was a visceral reaction to this guy. I've told several of my girlfriends the story so I'm not going to name anyone here, but suffice it to say the phrase, "friends do not make out with friends" has made it into our lexicon!

Geode: a poem

"Look--
A misshapen lump of rock
Dark grey and warty
A looked-over, kicked-over, picked-over egg-shaped chunk of silica
Unlovely and passed-over
Until--
An eagle's eye spots, lifts, cradles and warms
With surety and certainty
The cutter's hand places a blow
Here, here, here
And--
The rock splits in two
Light refracting its revelation, purple and white and blinding
Crystals and structures and pillars and columns
Created under heat and pressure
Listen--
The looker-, kicker-, picker-overs
Gasp at the complexities beyond their comprehension."



**I didn't have a picture of a geode, but I do have quite a few pictures of rocks so I included this one as it's igneous, and the same principles of heat apply.

Rage-Beast

So, I told you that I was going to be sharing some personal pieces with you and this is one of them. I was going to hold off on it, but someone said something last night that upset me and I thought that this would be perfect for how I was feeling afterwards.

"Rage dwells deep in me; tamped down to a super-hot ember and covered in a deep drift of ash like a dormant volcano under its blanket of trees. People come along and prod at my rage, stirring up the embers, wanting me to discuss my feelings, to let go and tell them how I really feel. I think they'd wilt and scorch from my rage if I let it loose. It's a beast that I feel move in my chest late at night, its reptilian wings rattling along my ribs, eyes glowing with the poisons that circulate in its blood. I keep my rage-beast chained down; I'm safe from it for the time being but I know that its viscous blood will leach into my very marrow--slowly, slowly poisioning me if I don't slay it first. But for now, I delude myself into thinking I've tamed it; my rage-beast, my anger-dragon, the reptile of hate in my breast that I've incubated from an egg."

I think that all too often as Christians, we are not allowed by our fellow Christians to truly express how angry we are, whether it's at God, circumstances or other people. I find it much easier to simply smile and assure those who ask that I'm "doing OK, thanks!", rather than tell them how I don't sleep at night, how I've taken to gritting my teeth, how I can't focus on reading a book which was my favorite thing to do. And I'm not mad at God nor am I mad at my parents for dying; I'm mad at people who think I need to talk through every emotion without thinking I may still be numb and I'm mad at the people who I think should have been there for me but I haven't heard anything from them. I know eventually I'll need to relinquish my rage, but for now, it's the one thing that I can feel through my numbness.

Starting Out: Thank You!

Well, my friends--since you all encouraged me to start a blog & since I'm attempting to tap more fully into my creative side, I want to thank you all. My aim is to share things that I'm writing, things I'm contemplating, the occasional photos and yes, recipes! I'm also trying to be more vunerable in some areas of my life, so I'm going to post some very personal pieces as well. I'm going to start simply with a recipe.

Creole Shrimp

Ingredients:

1 carrot, diced

1 onion, diced

1 bell pepper, diced

2 stalks of celery, diced

4 tbsps olive oil

4 garlic cloves, minced

1/4 cup tomato paste

1 (15 oz) can tomato sauce

2 (15 oz) cans crushed tomatoes

1/3 cup distilled white vinegar

1 cup water

finely chopped fresh thyme & parsley to taste

2 lbs (51-60 count) peeled & deveined shrimp

4 tbsps butter

grated Parmesan & chopped green onions for garnish

Cook the carrot, onion, celery & pepper in the olive oil in a medium saucepan or stockpot til softened, but not browned; about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook another 2 minutes. Add in the tomato paste, sauce & crushed tomatoes, the vinegar & the water & bring to a boil. Turn the heat down and simmer for about 40 minutes. Add the thyme and parsley to taste as well as salt and pepper.

In a large skillet, heat the butter over medium heat and add the shrimp, sauting til half-done. Add the shrimp to the Creole sauce and cook an additional 5-8 minutes.

Serve over rice, risotto or grits and garnish with Parmesan & green onions!

Cook's Notes:

OK--the basis for Creole cooking is onion, pepper & celery cooked together in what's known as a sofrit. It's also called the Holy Trinity of Creole cooking as this is what a lot of Creole recipes are built off of, so you want the veggies to be cut to uniform pieces and not to brown, just softened to let out the juices. Carrot adds a sweet note that rounds out the vegetal taste that green bell peppers can give to a dish. I ran my veggies through my little Cuisinart for a nice, fine, uniform dice!

This dish was a huge hit with the 3 daughters of one of my meal clients, which is always gratifying to hear! He said they loved the sauce by itself spooned over the risotto which is how I had prepared it for them.

All the best,

Holly